Stop, Breathe, Choose Again

Updated: Aug 15

I apologize. I should have said that differently, been more present, taken your opinion into consideration, not interrupted you or gotten so loud.

How many times have you said these words or something like them to your daughter?

I find that I do this at least once a week. As she has grown more in her ability to speak to what she feels wasn’t right or didn’t work for her.

Usually, she will say to her mom, “I didn’t like the way dad did that, (or said that) would you tell him?”.

Often, I am standing only a few feet away when she does this. Then my wife will turn and tell me what she said, even though I generally have heard her.

Then it is my turn. That is when I walk over to her, get down on my knees at eye level and apologize to her for how I was and how I showed up in that moment. And I also tell I will work to do better next time. We usually end with a hug and an I love you.

How often have you apologized to your daughter? How often have you admitted your mistake in the communication?

It is our place to be the one who shows up with depth and presence in all interactions. We need to set the example of powerful and fearless communication.

We set the model for how she expects to be treated by others and especially by men.

How do you want your daughter to be treated by others in her life?

How we show up in communication as father’s is so important to their overall sense of self and empowerment.

So, when you find yourself in a place where you could have done it better, then.

  1. Stop

  2. Breathe

  3. Choose a new way to be

  4. Get on their level

  5. Tell her thank you for sharing

  6. Apologize

  7. Let her know you are working on being better and that you will be better next time

  8. Ask her if she needs anything else in this moment

  9. Tell her you love her, and you are proud of her

  10. Give her a hug and smile

Admitting your mistakes or that you could have done it differently is empowering for you and for her.

Let’s grow powerful amazing women together. The world certainly needs it.

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